Full of doubts

Ohk so does your hobby make you or you make your hobby ..does your behaviour make you..or you decide your behavior...does the right thing chooses you..or what you decide to do becomes right..do you even have the liberty to choose something..or its already prewritten..if everything is preplanned...then why the hell we have no clue..And even if we get the clue of our call ...why does it have to be always so late..to comprehend..and by mistake if you even could decode it on time..then why do you find no meaning later.how to find the inspiration ...the enthusiasm everyday..Eachday..only the 10000 who could clear it out of the rest thirty lakhs..have a meaningful solution or is their story same as well..or is everyone's story the same...it's just that some are fine better actors than me!-Isha Chandaliya